#8 DEMANDING GREATNESS OF YOUR TROUBLED TEEN INSTEAD OF OBEDIENCE
As adults encounter the challenge of difficult troubled teens, the typical response is to demand conformity and obedience. Elaborate sets of rules are concocted and then the search for ways to enforce them begins. Rewards are offered to students for behaving, and punishments are applied to keep them from misbehaving; adults send for reinforcements; troubled teens are shunted to special programs-but still the problems persist.
Expecting Maturity from Troubled Teens
Rather than demand obedience, Positive Peer Culture demands that troubled teens become the mature and productive human beings they can be. Unfortunately, many adults do not really believe that troubled teens possess the quality of "greatness" which is perhaps not surprising since troubled teens seldom are provided with opportunities to display their true human potentials. Our Boarding School for Troubled Teens is concerned with setting expectations high enough to challenge troubled teens to do all they are capable of doing. To expect less is to deprive them of the opportunity of feeling as positively about themselves as possible.
Many teachers and troubled teen counselors have long been aware that demanding conformity and obedience was not an effective way of dealing with troubled teenagers, but they usually knew only one alternative: the granting of total freedom. Many attempts to give responsibility to troubled teens are instead really "freedom" approaches. In these programs, adults sometimes totally abdicate authority and return all decision making to these young troubled teens. Not surprisingly, a common outcome is that troubled teens run loose in' a manner reminiscent of the classic novel Lord of the Flies.
Troubled Teens Need Responsibility
Sometimes attempts are made to institute self-government among troubled teens. In most cases, this self-government is in reality a sham. Most public school student governments, in which youth are allowed to decide little more than the color of crepe paper for the school prom, fall into this category. Usually adults do not really want to give up their power; so they make sure that troubled teens do not have much territory to govern. Positive Peer Culture makes no pretense of turning over all decision making to the troubled teens. Adults never abdicate their authority or responsibility. Instead Positive Peer Culture is so designed that adults are in control without controlling. A flight instructor does not give full control to the teen student pilot but is always available to take charge if hazards are encountered while the teenage student learns to fly. So in Positive Peer Culture, adults assign responsibility to troubled teens and then teach them to follow through on that responsibility.
Moderation in Expectations of Problem Youth
The notion of heavy demands on troubled teens is not altogether fashionable, and traditional mental health concepts have sometimes been interpreted to say that setting high expectations actually is harmful for troubled teens; hence, those with problems sometimes have not been sufficiently challenged to use the strength they possess. These ideas were criticized by Victor Frankl.
If architects want to strengthen a decrepit arch, they increase the load that is laid upon it for thereby the parts are joined more firmly together. So if the therapists wish to foster the patients' mental health they should not be afraid to increase that load through a reorientation toward the meaning of one's life [3].
This is the demand of greatness in Positive Peer Culture. Positive Peer Culture defines greatness as showing positive, caring values. Positive Peer Culture groups help members to learn helpful and non delinquent ways of handling themselves and meeting their needs. Troubled teens must come to reject all behavior that in any way hurts self or others and to replace it with behavior that shows care and concern for others.
